I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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