It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
