dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
