i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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