dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
