I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
