yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
