We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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