My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
