wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
