is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
