Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
