Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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