I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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