I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
