ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
we should paint friendship bongs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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