I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
