So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
