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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding

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• (707): View more from California

  After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality

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• (607): View more from New York

  He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??

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• (561): View more from Florida

  i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Be there in 20. Want icecream?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND

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