his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
