Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
