I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
