she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
