You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
