Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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