im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
