His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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