Dual....:-)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
