Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
