you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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