Moan for me like Helen Keller
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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