You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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