i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
