Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
