it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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