and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
