you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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