And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
