Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
