When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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