Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
