They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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