Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
