This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
