we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have to summon your inner elephant
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
