Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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