I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
