What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
