Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
