Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
