Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
